This is an insane month of birthdays. I love birthdays. I love to celebrate. Today is Micah's, my oldest brother, birthday. I am the oldest of all my brothers and sisters, not that I am old by any means. 8-) Micah is the oldest of the boys. He is 24 today. I so totally remember when he was born. I was 5 years old. Yes, that means I will be 29 in just 2 days. They brought Micah home from the hospital on my birthday. I think that is the day I became a mommy. I have been mothering anyone who would let me for 24 years. 8-) Somehow he and I both have oldest child personalities. Maybe because I was a little older when he was born. Maybe because he is the oldest boy. Maybe because I always acted more like his mother than his sister so he felt like an oldest child. I have had so much fun with my brothers and sisters. I enjoy them immensely. I don't always like the choices they make. I pray always that they would choose life, but I can't choose for them. They are all incredible beautiful people with amazing personalities. Each of them very different, but somehow we are all very alike. Here's the rundown...there is me 29, Micah 24, Caleb 21, Haley 19, and Abbey is the baby at 16. I am excited about being 29. I can't imagine it will be a lot different from 28. Here's the thing. All that I have ever wanted to be in my whole life is a wife and mommy. So no matter where we are in life I have the joy of being what I wanted to be. Maybe to the world it's not that great of an accomplishment, and status according to the world is certainly not something I am achieving. 8-) To some my job doesn't even count. I can't imagine a greater blessing in life than watching my babies grow. We went to the zoo yesterday and I watched my hubby with the babies and I was in awe of how blessed I am. It is the most beautiful thing in the world to see who they are and how they interact with the world around them. Even when my littlest baby was throwing a fit at dinner I knew I am truly blessed. Now doing my job well is a whole different story. There are days when i cry out to God in desperation for the ability to love my children well. Because my problem isn't how much I love them. I love them with everything that I have. The thing that concerns me is getting that love across in the way God wants me too. I could tell my children all day long that I love them and it may mean nothing. I have to show them love in the way they receive it. It feels that there is no room for mistakes here. I had a friend who once said that instead of putting away money for her kids education she was going to put away money for their counseling fund. 8-) Thankfully God is way bigger than me and He is a beautiful God of redemption.
Other birthdays we will be celebrating this month...our good friends Justin Heap (26), Jacob Carringer(25),and hopefully for Trisha's sake sweet baby Owen will be making his debut this month.
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